I recently read something on dominance in the bedroom that made me drop the the imprinting I had growing up. How dominance was impressed upon me was a man being rough and nasty to the woman during sex and focusing only on his selfish pleasure.

After reading through that article I realized that to be dominant in the bedroom is to focus on her pleasure and to guide her to heights of ecstasy. You are the Sherpa of Sex (TM). You lead her there and she will gladly followyou if she 1) wants to and 2) feels safe with you to let herself go.

Granted, I'm probably glossing over many details and so forth about a D/s encounter but that was eye opening for me and quite fits me. I derive pleasure from giving my partner pleasure.