I tend to agree with Jessica on this but I do understand your frustration as well. The reason the coffee date exists is because men are playing a numbers game. Men are expected to pursue and engage first with women and buying each one of you dinner gets expensive if we're just trying to get to know you.

Besides, how would you feel if a guy wined and dined you on the first date anyway? You'd probably be wondering if he was love bombing you to get into your pants.

If you want to raise dating standards start pursuing men and set the narrative first. Invite them out to dinner, spend the money on them and see what happens. Dating norms are set by the current environment, coffee dates work because women keep agreeing to them. Don't like them, don't go.