This is a great article, thank you for sharing this. I’ve often thought about the double standards that women (and men) face in our current society and culture. While some men find the whole Madonna-Whore complex ‘cut and sexy,’ it does nothing but force women into constraints. Constraints of behavior, sexual gratification, and makes them more of a commodity than a human being. Not very liberating indeed.

I will admit that in my teenage years and early 20’s, these types of mysognistic behaviors were engraining themselves on me. It was chance encounters (not sexual) with different women when I lived out west that made me question what I was learning.

Unfortunately, these behaviors are becoming more toxic and deadly these days, especially in the Incel communities. If you’re on Reddit, I would direct you to this particular exchange on the r/Cringepics subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/cringepics/comments/lxmtd1/incel_thinks_sex_is_a_transaction_and_not_a/

It’s frightening that this guy things sex is merely transactional based but there’s a lot of emotionally stunted men out there. They’re selfish and only think of their needs and it’s these people that continue to want a “want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed” - (Usher)

I wasn’t aware of how we constrain women starting from an early age. When my daughter was born all my male coworkers were giving me advice on what books to read on how to have a strong ‘father/daughter’ relationship. Little did I know that there was a nefarious aspect to some of these books.

As you pointed above, there were some books that would point to the Father going to great lengths protecting his daughter’s virginity for her marriage. I remember reading one book where they show the heroic Father tucking in his daughter at night and would say something like “you’re special” (awww, right?) but then, “just like your wedding night.” Huh?

I have to say, stuff like that hits the men’s desire to ‘protect’ but the reality is - and no matter how much it freaks me out that she will be a sexual being one day - what kind of gratifying marriage would that be for them both?

There’s a very fine line between protecting and control.

But I think things can and will change. The men reading this article need to do better, myself included. That means exposing the double standards, guiding and teaching boys that a woman’s sexual liberation is in their best interest too. A sexually liberated woman harnesses raw sexual power, she becomes the whole of creation and some men are scared of that.