This is something I often think about as well. Society compels men to be the dominant one, to "man up" and not be vulnerable. Sexual desire don't give a shit about all that. As you point out, if a man's sexual desire is at odds with what society demands of him, that cognitive dissonance can explode into violence.

I wish for a world where both men and women can be themselves. Fully realize their sexual desires without shame. JFC it's just sex!