Wonderful piece and it hits all the things I mull around in my head. I got a lot of my (false) "education" from the 16 Candles types of movies as I was a teenager right as they came out.

Coupled with the standard male narratives of "women don't know what they want / they want you to kiss them / make the first move / she doesn't know that she likes you yet" imprinting I couldn't understand why my past relationships were not spectacular.

After many years of self introspection, searching, and learning, I can say that sex can be a wonderful and pleasurable experience when you shed all those limiting ideas and false narratives.